Break up
by Ildreen Love
Summary: Yuki broke up with Shuichi. What does he feels? Read to find out. Finished.
1. Default Chapter

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A/N: A Gravitation fanfic from Shuichi's POV, if you don't get it is based on when Yuki broke up with him. 

**Disclaimer: I don't own this characters. Maki Murakami does.**

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It's not good.  
  
Why can't you love me back? Why did you say those words? Where you pretending since the beginning?  
  
You said you don't want to hurt me, and that's why you are leaving...  
  
How can you say you are protecting me? You are breaking my heart! After all I've done for you!  
  
And all you do is keep hurting me.  
  
Haven't you noticed how happy I'm when you are around?  
  
No matter how many times you called me 'baka', I never thought you mean it.  
  
So... were you deceiving me? Everytime we kissed, we're you acting?  
  
And I didn't even cry, I didn't yelled. I just stared at the clouds and gave you a sad smile.  
  
I wanted so badly to scream, to tell you everything that was in my mind.  
  
But there's no use now, is there?  
  
We are from different worlds. I thought we we're meant for each other, but I guess I was wrong.  
  
So I'm doing the best thing I do: Writing for you. Even if you think I have 'zero talent'  
  
I wonder if people who listen to my words will think the same.  
  
I wonder if you'll ever know these words are for you. Probably you won't even listen to them.  
  
Pain. This is the only way I can express it.  
  
And you would never know.  
  
And as people listen and get the wrong feeling of pure love  
  
As I cry my heart out in here, where will you be?  
  
Drowning yourself in work? Giving your attention and health to an empty computer?  
  
Everyone praises you, but now I know the 'real' you.  
  
A lonely actor pretending in life, a person too scared to search for love again...  
  
At least I gave you light again. Even if it was just for a little while. 


	2. Chapter Two

Thanks to those who reviewed: dive to blue and clari chan. I love reviewers, and critisism is always good, it means you read it. I did have some editing problems, but it's all fixed now... I hope. Dedicated to you both.

**Disclaimer: Again, as I painfully admit, Maki Murakami owns this characters, I don't.**

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It's been a while now, since I last saw you. 

I keep thinking about you a lot, but not as much as before.

No, that's a lie.

I miss you, I miss you a lot.

I never thought it would be this hard.

Well, speaking of not thinking, I never thought I had to go through this pain.

I don't even know why I miss you this much.

I don't understand why or when I fell for you in the first place.

It was just 'gravity'.

The problem is you weren't affected by it.

Every time I think of all the things we did together, I really feel like crying.

Not that anyone notices of course.

Hiro knows for sure how hurt I am, but he doesn't say a word.

After I saw you I thought I would cry for days.

But I couldn't.

Just a few tears and that was all.

That's why everyone thinks I'm ok.

Besides we weren't together that long right?

Wrong.

For me it was not a matter of time,

Since all I noticed is how quickly it passed when I was with you.

And also so slowly...

And I haven't been able to cry.

I feel like all this pain is bottled in me, just waiting for something to release it.

There are some things that make me feel like I'm finally going to get ride of this pain.

But it never happens.

It's the worse of tortures you know?

And still I miss you.

I can't help to feel used sometimes.

I think you didn't meant to do it,

I want to believe it just happened.

I need to believe it wasn't your purpose.

And you want to know what the most ridiculous part is?

I have thought I should call you.

I want to be with you, even if it's just as a spectator.

Or as a support.

That's just how much I love you.

And again, you will never know.

Maybe you thought I was playing at the begining too.

Well I wasn't.

Ever since I met you I felt we were perfect for each other.

I still do.

But you can't force love.

Nor do I want to.

I wonder how long you stayed there where I left you.

Staring at something no one else could see.

Not even me.

I looked back and I saw you,

You didn't move at all.

Was it regret or relief that made you stay there?

I don't really want to know.

I saw sadness in you eyes, but if it was guilt or something else

I couldn't figure it out.

And every night my heart feels like breaking.

For the future I wished for us.

Damn, for the past I thought we had.

Maybe I should wait a little longer and then I'll began to forget.

Although something tells me that that won't happen.

And I'm not sure if I want to.


	3. Chpter three

Last part of Break Up. This is the first story I finish, so I'm happy. Shu-chan's last toughts of when Yuki broke up with him. We all know they'll live happily ever after, but Shu didn't know it then. Anyway, enjoy.

**Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters. Maki Murakami did. And I'm grateful for that.**

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Time keeps passing by. 

Nothing has changed, you know?

The same feelings are there.

How have I survive this far, I don't know.

I read something you wrote the other day.

Suddenly I felt really angry.

I wanted to throw everything that reminded me of you.

Of course I didn't.

There are so many things, and after a moment, anger left and sadness came back.

I felt some tears sliding quietly down my face.

I didn't even try to stop them, I just felt so tired.

I got sick, did you know that?

I have eaten practically nothing in two weeks.

I keep telling Hiro it's because I got sick.

But we both know depression has something to do with it.

He's so worried about me; I feel a little bad for making him worry.

Except when he tries to make me eat like I used to.

I'm not feeling well yet!

Physically I mean.

I still believe that time will make me feel better about you.

I don't know why, if it hasn't helped yet.

This afternoon as I tried to compose something a really sad melody came up.

I started crying.

Yes, again.

Then Hiro told me dinner was ready.

He didn't saw me cry, 'cause I turned my back on him and dried my tears.

I put away my keyboard and left the room.

I don't feel like composing now, maybe another day.

From now on I'm going to do my best so I won't disappoint my friends.

And maybe, just maybe

You will see me for all what I'm worth

And come back into my life.

Hope dies last, right?


End file.
